The Sunset Knows My Silhouette

2008-10-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

For, under a willow I sit,
humming and hawing,
until the sun goes down,
day by day,
until the sunset knows my silhouette.

PAGE EIGHTY ONE

Right vs. Wrong

2008-10-28T22:49:00.000-07:00

See,
I don't know whats wrong,
and I don't know whats right,
But I know my mind could
save me from this plight,
if only your name would leave it be.
Clutched so tightly,
its a wonder I don't see stars a fore my eyes,
your face is a dead ringer for the one in my head,
that just wont go.

PAGE SEVENTY NINE

Down In The Park

2008-10-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

Down in the park
where the mad men grow,
the sun sets between withered branches,
only to welcome in the bruised blue sky
and the man in the moon.
The dark things sing in the dead of night,
giving a voice to the vicious shadows that seem to move
when you can't look.

PAGE SEVENTY SEVEN
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My Mind Is A Symphony

2008-10-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

Page upon page,
my symphony lies,
waiting to sing its sad song.
Endless notes dance across paper,
into my words and into the air.
my mind is an endless symphony
dying to be composed

PAGE SEVENTY FIVE

In Hiding

2008-10-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

In my head,
I will hide,
from you and you,
and everyone in between.
These silent walls keep me safe,
bring me peace, and save the day.
A concrete castle of my own,
to build and break at my will.
Time will test them and time will break them,
but only I am the keeper of the keys.
in front of my eyes,
the concrete knit of brick
shows the bones of fortification,
kept only as strong, as I am today.

PAGE SEVENTY THREE

Little Sun

2008-10-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

Shine on, shine on,
little sun of mine,
show your warmth from the inside out.
Shine on, shine on,
little sun of mine,
and show the world what we can do,
you and me.
Shine on, shine on,
glorious sun of mine.

PAGE SEVENTY ONE

Words and the Like

2008-10-24T23:43:00.002-07:00

I’ve been lost in these words
for as long as I can remember,
but they never seem to change.
So I’ve taken the chance to write my soul down,
word for word,
as fast as I can scratch my ink,
to stem the river of words flowing forth the mind,
like an ink laden geyser at my fingertips.
In a sea of words and kept afloat by the constant motion of pen on paper, I scrape by.
Sentences turning into tidal waves,
will they take me down?
I wont know ‘til I’m gone,
and even then, the words in my head
wont be the right ones today.
Behind my eyes, the pages flicker
until ink seeps from my skin,
forming the words I could never put together.

PAGE SIXTY NINE

Mind Silence

2008-10-24T23:43:00.001-07:00

Mind silence,
its what kills the creative flare,
its what tragedy brings,
and what calamity reaps and sows.
The noiseless hum of a silent mind,
no thoughts, no words to be spoken,
keen again, dying imagination,
and shatter the mind silence,
with a single scream.

PAGE SIXTY SEVEN

What a Heart Can Take

2008-10-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

Sing sweetly;
sing softly,
for my heart cannot take
another bruise.
Tread silently;
tread lightly,
on a whispered path of dreams.
Speak gently;
speak softly,
to a heart worth talking to.
Love long;
love fiercely,
with the greatest of intentions.

PAGE SIXTY FIVE

My Flaws and Me

2008-10-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

I sought to give you the best of me,
holding back my flaws,
just so you would love me true.
I wrote them down, one by one
and listed all that’s intact,
and thought,
what’s the point of me,
without these.
So instead,
I’ll give you imperfection,
and leave it to your interpretation.

SIXTY THREE

E V O L U T I O N

2008-10-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in everyone’s life,
when everything just shatters,
and it shatters them too.
There also comes a time in everyone’s life,
when everything shatters,
and their just fine with that.
My resewn wings are testament
to what has shattered,
and what has regrown,
and what will live on.
Caring to the point of where you can’t care anymore,
and loving to the point where you can’t keep going.
I may be hurting,
but dawn has broken on the horizon of my soul
and through it all,
I am whole again.

PAGE SIXTY ONE

Kill Your Idols

2008-10-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

Mild mannered and delicate to the touch,
we are the faces you envy day after day,
beautiful to know, love to hate,
we are the dolls you strive to be.
Pale flesh, bright eyes and impeccable smiles,
we are the pretties, we are the untouchables
and we are the inconceivable notions.
Row upon row,
we sit like the good girls we emulate.
In the window, lives on display,
we sit and wait,
never aging, but remaining perfect.
We are the dolls, and you will never break us,
we are what you strive for and you will never kill your idols.

PAGE FIFTY NINE

You Are My Past

2008-10-24T23:38:00.002-07:00

Oh what do I see
when I lay my head down,
I see me, but only for a bit,
but then you come,
to my greatest delight.
You and me,
it was simply to be
a laugh here
a nuzzle there
oh I can see,
the puzzle coming together.
It’s where your at
that I crave to be,
to see you gaze down at me.

FIFTY SEVEN

Cold Eyes

2008-10-24T23:38:00.001-07:00

At cold eyes I sometimes gaze
between shielded glimpses
of a now unrecognisable soul
that once bared all.
To converse is a long lost hope
yet still I wish.
Dark tension clouds our past,
thick enough to choke me.
Your eyes have darkened and
your features, distorted,
but still your face I can read.

FIFTY FIVE

Insomniacs

2008-10-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

When I can’t sleep, I go to my cave,
that little recessed part in my own mind
saved for my illusions and their stories.
In my little niche, dark hues strangle the light
in an attempt to keep me quiet,
save my fingers dancing on the dust floor,
scratching out rhyme and reason.

FIFTY THREE

Nightly Conversations

2008-10-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

The fallen stars weep around you
as we lie upon the shore at the peak of midnight,
while the bruised blue of the sky lends it’s color to your skin,

shadows play games across your face.
The evening creaks, settling in for the night
as we have a silent conversation,
the one we always have.
Different time, different topic,
always the same words that are written in the sand
beneath our curled forms.
Through the night we etch our words in the air
with our words as ink, our breath the brush.

FIFTY ONE

My Best Friend

2008-10-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

She’s a few years older
then she wants to be,
and she’s dressed in her best,
to jump in puddles.
On the way to work
she dances on the pavement
cause she’s got a song in her soul
and she really can’t help it.
She doesn’t do half the things
she wants to do,
but that’s only because
she can’t remember,
she’s too busy trying
to stay upright in the silly shoes
she bought just because.

FORTY NINE

Say It

2008-10-24T23:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I couldn’t say it,
tomorrow I will say it,
and today I won’t say it.
Can you understand why?
I try and I try
but the words die on my lips,
like a rose in a vase,
after it’s few days
of beauty.

PAGE FORTY SEVEN

David

2008-10-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

When I hear a slight semblance
of your name, I shake inside,
trying to hold back the ocean in my heart.
There are barricades around my mind
that flare at any memory
that could be roused
at any given moment.
A slight tremor can
be heard in my voice
when you’re the topic
of conversation,
but only I can hear it.
There are few distinct memories of you,
so I snatch at the ones I can,
like sand silently slipping from my grasp.
I can hear your voice sometimes,
quietly guiding my thoughts,
and when I hear it,
I do everything I can
to sweetly suffocate in your voice,
smothering everything in your deep tenor
that hums in every core of my mind.
I’d trade blood and bone
for one last embrace
so that I can finally say goodbye;
and tell you
I love you.

PAGE FORTY FIVE

Sweet Muse

2008-10-24T23:30:00.000-07:00

Sing, my muse, for you have quieted yourself far too long.
Blank papers lay in your wake,
scattering your thoughts and stilling your tongue.
Into my brain,
your words will seep,
and across the paper,
my pen shall run,
putting words to your smile, your tears
and your furrowed brows.
Oh sweet muse, please whisper your imaginations
into my ear while the sky grows heavy with stars.

PAGE FORTY THREE

Sea Gaze

2008-10-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

Alabaster skin set off by onyx hair,
those cobalt-infused eyes
that speak of endless feeling;
at me they now gaze, promising the world,
softly and silently.
With serpentine moves,
those sea eyes come towards me.
My will has escaped
my tightly bound heart;
so near he is, that in my head,
all thoughts are erased,
except one;
one thought alone is framed
inside my mind.
Enticing gaze and endless thoughts,
how sweet it is,
how wonderful it would be,
for one night, to let the world slip past,
to gaze into that color-bruised sky.
With my paramour, in his arms,
for one night of immortality,
how sweet it would be.
Unnoticed, he takes my hand,
away we go, into that speckled night.
Into my dreams and into those eyes.
Quietly promising the sweet simplicity of freedom,
me and my beloved, disappear from the world tonight.

PAGE FORTY ONE

Moon Ledge

2008-10-24T23:21:00.002-07:00

Sitting upon the skies
blue-black mantle,
I look down at the world far below,
sighing at the near perfectness of the land;
with stars dotting my head like an invisible crown,
lighting my view of all the eye can see.
On my perilous perch,
I swing my legs
to the tune the stars beat out,
pulsing in the sky.

THIRTY NINE

Lonely Paradise

2008-10-24T23:21:00.001-07:00

How we yearn for such a place,
this heaven on earth,
this space that’s ours
and ours alone.
But as we see,
this paradise is nothing more
then an entrapment.
The illusion of paradise has long worn away;
this solitude has gone from beautiful to malicious,
Oh how I wish I could suffer
the normalities of yearning,
only to find that it’s an illusion.
That tug within that leaves me restless for perfection,
I’m loathe to keep.
How ironic it is,
to find that paradise
is only hell attending a masquerade ball.

THIRTY SEVEN

Breathe Again

2008-10-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

When you left,
I held my breath,
stopping the turning of my world.
I lay in wait,
not sleeping nor eating,
‘till you returned.
Fruitless it may be,
yet there I stayed,
unblinking and unwavering.
The day I learnt to never expect
your shadow in my doorframe,
cobwebs were lifted from my eyes,
and dust shaken from my hair.
Every day I was told to breathe again,
yet the sigh lying dormant on my tongue
would not leave,
save a chance meeting with you.

THIRTY FIVE

Danger Ahead

2008-10-24T23:17:00.001-07:00

No, I am not numb,
nor am I past the point
of no return.
I am painfully alive,
dancing dangerously close
to the edge that could signal my demise.
My mind is as sharp as ever,
yet sharp fragments of regret
dig deeper at every move,
creating scars
for all to see.

THIRTY THREE

Gone and Beyond

2008-10-24T23:16:00.001-07:00

I dive into abstract realities
and it tears my life at the seams,
but it’s such a flawless escape
from the world that pounds it’s beat
into my open head,
waiting for a crack at my soul.
I fly undone, set free by my entrapment,
beyond all caring.
Distinguished thoughts keep me visible to the populace;
but what resides within my subconscious
turns the mind dirty and the heart murky.
With slender tendrils I infect those around me,
subtly yet of so surely;
comparable to gas seeping into the air
around us.
The smog smothers my lucidity
while I fall under the blanket of a haze.

THIRTY ONE

Soleil

2008-10-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve got the moon in my blood
and the sun tangled in my hair;
with diamonds sprinkled eyelashes
and ruby glitter dusting my lips.
With the wind at my back
and the clouds trailing after me
to watch like angels,
towards the meadow yonder I am headed.
A trip so worthy a gorgeous day,
that the atmosphere is
almost resplendent in tone.
Down the path, oh so overgrown,
a trail divides into two to choose from.
To the right we shall find wood as
barren as the midwinter sky.
Across the way and to the left,
a meek trail peeps through the thicket,
only to end in our meadow,
so precious in the light that gently
rains from dear Soleil.

PAGE TWENTY NINE

Before You

2008-10-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

The sun shone,
but didn’t sparkle.
The wind blew,
but it didn’t cool.
I existed,
but I wasn’t whole.
Then I met you.
The dust wiped from my eyes
by your arrival was proof enough
that before you, I didn’t live.
My memories exist,
yet they don’t hold the
same clarity as every
memory you and I make.
Before you
I wandered through life,
yet here I am, guided by you.
The day I met your relentless stare
was the day I knew I was alive.
Because of you, every detail I see,
I see something more,
something beautiful.
My being was silently reprogrammed
by your touch,
rendering my universe
far from whole.

PAGE TWENTY SEVEN

The Beast

2008-10-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

The beast itself snarled in counter attack
to the fire and passion
it so unwillingly encountered in a rage
quite unlike the sombre sleep
of the beast;
surrounding walls are shattered
from a force unprecedented.
The war rages on,
fought without weapon,
save the sharp barb of spoken word.
Battles continue and scores are settled.
The beast returns to his awaiting kingdom.
His war; my own.
His kingdom; my heart.

PAGE TWENTY FIVE

Shell

2008-10-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

Thoughts capture words I can’t say
and take them away,
to be hidden far inside.
Is it possible to have
the need to hide from yourself?

PAGE TWENTY THREE

My Surrender

2008-10-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

Hidden and uncompromising,
and anchoring a fool,
he is a light to bright to see.
Flitting here and there and
immune to the antics of others.
We all depend on somebody,
sometimes,
somewhere.
Struggling with demons we can’t see,
he plasters on a smile and
it’s all okay again.
Life goes on,
over and over again.
Stop. Rewind. Remind and Replay.
He is the narrator to this aged play.

PAGE TWENTY ONE

Flaws

2008-10-24T23:07:00.001-07:00

You are perfect
when I can see your flaws.
And everything about us is wrong,
but we make it right.
Looking at you confirms
all that I’ve ever dreamt up.
Every glimpse kills me
because there is so much
for me to say to you.
I know it’s not easy,
but remember that I think
you are perfect
when I see your flaws.

PAGE NINETEEN

Flying vs. Falling

2008-10-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

Flying versus falling theory,
a line so indistinct
that it has a class of mystique
all to itself.
The net, the drop, what is what,
the stomach-in-mouth feeling clouds
what we are doing.
Are we falling to our demise
or flying to what we know?
Deadhead the weeds
and understand the cycle;
we fly, we fall,
but do we really know the difference?
Catch me if you can.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

Tonight

2008-10-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight
I’ll beat your name
out of my head
with my headphones.
I’ll do my best but I can only try.
Hopefully the music will
make me forget who you are,
but I can only do so much.
Tonight will be the night
I get your headache
off my mind.

PAGE FIFTEEN

Mind State

2008-10-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

I’m in a state.
A mind set,
I can’t get out,
within the prison,
I am free.
I am a prisoner
of my mind,
trapped and shackled,
inside my mind.
Days roll by
and nights creep past
my dull eyes;
I see nothing,
acting as if I am fine,
while inside I’m shattering.
My heart is breaking,
my tears, flowing.
My façade is gone,
I am exposed.
See me now for what I am.
I’m locked beyond steel walls,
my cage surrounding me.
These bars suffocate my sanity.
I choke,
I splutter,
I scream.
I see a fracture in my
jail of a mind.
Towards the fractured wall
I push and stumble,
legs bound,
words muffled,
skin raw.
The struggle for freedom, subdued.
Fingers skim the surface,
it shimmers at my touch,
healing itself of my rippled effect.
Once more my prison locks me in.

PAGE THIRTEEN

No More

2008-10-24T23:00:00.001-07:00

Days go by
and I lose my preservation;
the need to self-suffice is in the fade
and I’ve gone beyond barriers of what control is.

PAGE ELEVEN

Coruscating Vespers

2008-10-24T22:55:00.000-07:00

Beside the river bend lies a simple urn.
An urn with no labels,
no markings of a history untold.
Look inside and what you see won’t surprise you;
little grey ashes filled neatly to the brim.
These ashes are vespers set aflame;
ignited by passion yet put aside to burn to nothing.

PAGE NINE

Sweetest Dreams

2008-10-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, sweet dreams;
for what have you become?
Merely vespers exploding
from the tip of my tongue.
It was enchanting while it lasted.
Although I’m sure you will return in time,
for now we must sing the sad song of departure.
Is it fair to say our time was well spent,
even though you by the time your words
drip from my lips you will be gone?

PAGE SEVEN

Fragile

2008-10-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

I stand before you with
broken and bleeding hands
because punching a wall
is a far more effective way
to get away from it all.
I’m just a girl,
hopelessly in love.
Are hearts allowed to shatter
from such a soft blow?
Where I come from love is a far off shadow
that tantalizes hearts with just a whisper of showing itself.
In my hands are the fragments of the girl you used to love,
held by the girl you’ve come to hate.
So can we compromise?
I’ll keep the fragments,
if you’ll still love them.

PAGE FIVE

Spiralling

2008-10-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Perfect Girl

2008-10-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

No, she’s not a perfect girl,
but she’s a girl that has told herself
she’s just right,
in that falling apart kind of way.
She doesn’t know who or what to trust,
but she has faith that when the time is right,
she’ll just know.
When she looks in the mirror,
she knows she’s not a beautiful girl,
but that she has the broken eyes of a gorgeous girl.
But at least she knows who she is, right?

PAGE ONE